@solentine I’d better check the fireplace when we get back to our hol. cottage shortly…

When you stay in a holiday cottage, write something in the visitors’ book about the ghost to unsettle future guests. #traveltips

@doccosmos or out of musical instruments, maybe?

Kind but unreconstructed relative gives 3-year-old some plastic soldiers. He thinks their guns are musical instruments. #innocence

@Alissajrobinson Probably not 🙂

@Alissajrobinson you’ll upset Mrs Hat – maternity means she’ll miss that particular Torchbox jolly. She’s v disappointed

@rickbox mine apparently had a grenade chucked at him, so I suppose an apology was considered superfluous