As a result I was bizarrely motivated to write a parody of Rowling in the style of Self (notorious for his pleonastic writing style), and then record it in my own imitation of his drawl. I sent it in to the show. (Ironically I actually prefer his writing to hers, but there we are.)
Here is Today’s introduction and excerpt of my brief tale, ‘Harry Potter and the Viscera of Kittens’, and here is the full version I recorded. Just in case you like this sort of nonsense. (Both MP3 files.)
“The Minster is very large and fine of stone, carv’d all the outside 3 high towers above the Leads”
“I was in one of them, the highest, and it was 262 steps and those very steep steps” [the Minster says 275 and I made it 281!]
“On the Leads of the tower shews a vast prospect of the Country at least 30 mile round, you see all over the town that looks as a building too much cluster’d together, the Streets being so narrow, some were pretty long.”