Harry Potter and the Viscera of Kittens

Back in July 2007, the author Will Self appeared on BBC Radio 4’s Today programme grumbling about what he termed the “cardboard” writing of J.K.Rowling and how adults shouldn’t read it.

As a result I was bizarrely motivated to write a parody of Rowling in the style of Self (notorious for his pleonastic writing style), and then record it in my own imitation of his drawl. I sent it in to the show. (Ironically I actually prefer his writing to hers, but there we are.)

Here is Today’s introduction and excerpt of my brief tale, ‘Harry Potter and the Viscera of Kittens’, and here is the full version I recorded. Just in case you like this sort of nonsense. (Both MP3 files.)

In the footsteps of Celia Fiennes in York

This little photo story was originally published as a Twitter thread in June 2023.

So in 1697, Celia Fiennes arrived solo in York on horseback as part of her unique tour of England. I followed in her footsteps around York Minster today. Join us! Words by Celia, pictures by me. #yorkminster #10tweetadventure

“The Minster is very large and fine of stone, carv’d all the outside 3 high towers above the Leads”

“I was in one of them, the highest, and it was 262 steps and those very steep steps” [the Minster says 275 and I made it 281!]

“On the Leads of the tower shews a vast prospect of the Country at least 30 mile round, you see all over the town that looks as a building too much cluster’d together, the Streets being so narrow, some were pretty long.”

“In the Minster there is the greatest curiosity for Windows I ever saw they are so large and so lofty, those in the Quire at the end and on each side that is 3 storeys high and painted very curious, with History of the Bible”

“There is a large hunter’s Horn tipped with silver and garnish’d over and engrav’d finely, all double gilt” [a copy shown – ironically the original is on holiday in Oxford where I came from today]

(The Horn of Ulf is currently part of this exhibition: https://visit.bodleian.ox.ac.uk/event/gifts-and-books @bodleianlibs)

“The Chapter house is very finely carv’d and fine painting on the windows all round, it’s all arched Stone and supported by its own work having no pillars to rest on”