Exactly – and the baby needs parents who aren’t completely exhausted. I see it as a bit like the instructions you get on an aeroplane, where you absolutely have to put your own oxygen mask on before you help anybody else with theirs. You need to deal with your own basic needs or you’ll be no good at all. What I’m trying to say is, don’t feel guilty for needing to rest.

It’s notable that Sears has 8 children, and apparently Ford has… none.

So Ford has never given birth or breastfed… and nor has Sears. I take your point that Ford is more full of unworkable crap than Sears is, but that’s not because she has no children of her own; it’s because she has no qualifications whatsoever.

– All babies are different

– Routine is wonderful for toddlers and older children, so the earlier you can get some vague parameters in shape the better, but by that I think things like “don’t let them get used to sleeping in your arms or they won’t sleep properly apart from you” and “try and encourage them to eat before bed etc so that feeding times are spaced out as conveniently as possible” are as far as you need to go with tiny ones. I just can’t see how you can persuade a six month old – let alone a month-old – sprog that its stomach can respond to set meal times and I think you’d have a hard time trying.

– You’re lovely and Helen’s lovely, so your child will very likely grow up similarly lovely as he has been exposed to pre-and-post natal loveliness all along. If you believe Oliver James, this counts for a great deal. I believe him.

– Somewhere in the middle sounds like it makes sense to me. When it comes to basic needs, you HAVE to respond now as there’s no other choice. But constant contact sounds like it would be quite a strain on the parent and that can’t help. Stress levels during pregnancy and breastfeeding do have some serotonin-level impact on children (apparently), so ignoring all the advice and doing what works for you is not only healthy for you, it’s healthy for the baby, too.

Also, my sister was booted off Gina Ford’s forum for daring to question her methods. I don’t accept advice from anyone who refuses to continually question and analyse their own methods to ensure they are fresh and relevant. Except my mum.

Fraid not! But I’m not sure it arrived at the bedside in its original packaging anyway. Is it a code which reveals the secrets of baby care?!

I don’t supposed you saw a letter scribbled on the top of the bottle of milk from the bank? Probably TMI even if you did, but it can be good to know the hassle Mrs S goes through is worth it.

As for the other issue, it’s kinda too soon for us to know: at this very early stage, and given breastfeeding, ‘day care’ isn’t really an option. It’s really down to how H feels in a few months’ time, but the expectation is that she’ll be returning to work next summer in some form.